04 February, 2014

RELATIONSHIPS - The 12 steps of a break up

We've all been there, we've all had our hearts broken and what's more we've all had to prise our broken selves through the break up process. It's not pretty. It's not desirable. But unfortunately it's inevitable...

If you find yourself in a break up situation. The following things are more than likely to happen...

1. Spending at least one week crying at least three times a day.

2. The inevitability that a random tv program will also set you off. (I actually cried at Jeremy Kyle).

3. The fact that you will spend exactly one week hiding inside wearing your PJ's drinking nothing but tea. And wine.

4. That there will be one friend who is very insensitive about the whole thing. (Don't blame her though, she loves you really and she thinks that the tough love approach will help).

5. That at some point you will cry at a stranger, whether it be a person on the phone, in the street or in the pub.

6. That you will spend approximately two weeks being rationed sleeping pills by your friends as they fear you are going to get addicted.

7.  The revelation day. The day you decide you can actually leave the house and make it to the pub.

8. On said day, ending up getting very drunk calling/texting your ex on your way home.

9. Waking up the next day in last nights outfit with mascara all down your face, still clutching your phone in the hope that they have responded.

10. The moment you realise they haven't responded and it finally hits home that it's over. At this point it is advisable to call your ladies and get them round immediately...

11. The first time you see your ex out in town. In this situation is is perfectly viable to hide behind the nearest wall/person until they have passed. And subsequently run home.

12. The first time a hot boy tries to talk to you in the pub and you go a little bit shy and probably feel a little bit sick. But in a good way...

After all of these things have happened, and believe me, they probably will happen...you just have to think to yourself that you are through the worse of it now. And in the wise words of D:Ream, things can only get better....
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